Shame is a bitch and i’m not a fan.
Last week I was on a home inspection for my bro and i’s first house.
After spending a few hours with inspector critically pointing out bad d.i.y. electrical, cracks in walls, opening creaky doors, and turning leaky faucets on and off, we finally had down time.
The inspector, a kind and down-to-earth woman with a Ms. Frizzle from ‘the magic school bus’ type vibe was sitting across from me staring into her laptop at the dining room table. To spark convo she asked me what I did. With slight hesitation in my voice I told her i’m in the middle of changing my career to focus on real estate. Encouragingly she said,”oh that’s good!” She then started to share her own career shift she made around my age.
Similar to me, her decision led to a sacrifice of short term security in pursuit of long term freedom. She was ashamed to tell her story to people for a long time as I was, so I asked her why. She had said that her path wasn’t ideal or planned. Her worried parents, friends, her choice to pursue a degree and later not even use it was all shameful for her. A long period of sacrifice, uncertainty, and struggle was all worth it in the end.
Now she works as often as she likes, doing what fulfills her. Her reward for choosing her life was a certain wisdom that comes from knowing she’s gone through some shit and washed herself off. That wisdom was paid in something of value; that something being relative to that individual. It can be comfort, security, pleasure, so many different things. And now she’s grown to want to share her story.
I thanked her for sharing, and told her how it motivated me. Like that, my own shame was slayed. A false sense of guilt for not knowing exactly where I am headed or how i’m gonna get there seemed ridiculous.
Her story reminded me of how roads work. They can go on straight but eventually curve, fork, and detour; all unplanned. So why stress when something doesn’t turn out exactly as we’d expected? There’s a certain kind of energetic force (not sure how else to word it) that constantly pulls us in directions we’ve never thought possible. So again why stress over a detour? Why be ashamed? It’s not the destination so much as it is the process, or life journey, that brings us fulfillment in the end anyway.
Fuck you shame. Don’t need you anymore.
Sometimes I’d beat myself up for not knowing where my road was leading, but only cause I couldn’t see further past the road I was on.
Only a few of us are bold enough to admit we don’t know where our road leads, giving us the quiet fortitude to take a sure and steady step forward.
And even one steady step in a direction of our choosing is all it takes to see a golden road in our wake.
6 months ago I wouldn’t have imagined having a convo with a home inspector in my future dining room. Life can be a trip if you want it to be.
So a nod to you, who chooses to walk their own road, wherever and however it may lead.
Till next time y’all. With love✌🏽
Gaelan
Learn things
Shame
A painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.
Responsible Decluttering During Crisis by Minimalism Life
Though in a crisis, there’s bound to be some things we can part with that would free up space in our life.
Look at things
French Island by studio Lai Cheong Brown
Listen to things
Sanctuary-Coffehouse by CryMeAn
Thank you for reading this weeks issue.
Not subscribed and want to be? Sign up here
Down to contribute or got an idea to share? Hit me up
Peace ✌🏽