Dear men,
It’s strong. Damn near impenetrable when we need it to be. Holds back our tears. Protects our feelings when threatened. Keeps us from being emotional. Absorbs the heaviest of blows with little perceived damage. Its our armor. It’s the armor we carry with pride and gusto, and at the same time, it’s a burden.
You can take off your armor.
Carrying it around requires a sacrifice. A sacrifice of being present in certain spaces that are best experienced without carrying such heavy weight, because well… it simply doesn’t fit in every space.
We’re taught to put on our armor everyday before stepping out our door to the outside world where anything can threaten our sanctity. It’ll save us from pain. But wait, don’t we grow from pain? No pain no gain, right?
Putting on a hunk a’ metal may lend us temporary attributes but ultimately stunts our emotional & mental maturity in the long run.
What are we sacrificing every time we put on this armor?
Maybe a chance to develop our emotional intelligence, or an opportunity to build a stronger bond with family a friend or colleague? It could also hinder the ability to say how we really fucking feel, acting as a bottle cap, tightly guarding the pent up carbonation inside a soda bottle. If opened without care, oops! A glorious mess😯
Taking off this armor is a task in itself.
For myself, it wasn’t until I experienced the power of men around me crying, listening, and completely expressing their feelings. I finally knew what was holding me back from doing the same; my armor. In these multiple moments in the presence of other men from a world of different backgrounds, did I sense my own armor-less power .
I savored each of those moments, and damn were they empowering. Momentarily liberated from pressures, ideals, expectations, and oppressions.
While some of us are fortunate enough to learn how to take off their armor early in life through a close relative, mentor, or supportive environment; those of us who didn’t have those gifts learn on their own, if at all. And how we learn is different as well. Did you learn to take your armor off voluntarily or was it by force, worn down from battle after battle?
“…if you’re not at home in the world, you live in the fear of one who can never truly relax and enjoy their life. Where’s the joy in that?” - Gary Zukav
Once we start feeling how heavy this armor we don really is, sooner we can embrace our authentic power. As described by Gary Zukav in his book The seat of the soul, he dives deep into examples of authentic power vs external power demonstrated throughout history and how they’ve shaped societies and our lives.
As people, I feel it important to take off armor so we can learn to embrace ourselves and others in a way that is less critical, less controlling, and more human.
And as a man, it’s important for us to know that taking off our armor is ok. I’m learning it’s less about what we do, and more about how we do it. Let it be a graceful practice, to hold that space for you and your fellow man. Eventually wearing armor could be a thing of the past⌛️
Till next time y’all. With love✌🏽
Gaelan
Learn things
Pronoia
Feeling that the world around you conspires to do you good; opposite of paranoia.
We’re All Monastics Now by Leo Babauta
How are you choosing to use your time under quarantine?
Look at things
Concept art by Johnson Ting
Listen to things
Chamber of reflection by MacDemarco
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Peace ✌🏽